Saturday 24-Jan-2009 06:50 PM
“So?” She looks at me with a hint of excitement.
“So??” I asked her back, as though I knew nothing.
“So, what is it?” She asks, almost too eager to contain herself.
I give her the Key chain and rambled,”There you go; I did warn you that is nothing important!”
Now I have my hands in my Right Jacket pocket, within it is a piece of folded paper and a deck of Uno Cards. I have to make a decision, I have to make one right now! Which one will I draw out? How is she going to react? I’m sure she has seen this coming, or will it be a complete surprise? Is this the end of our little friendship or will it elevate to a new level? “Now isn’t the time to think of that, Just do it man!” I thought to myself.
“How did I end up in this predicament?” me again to myself……..
Friday 23-Jan-2009 11:30 PM
It has been almost a week since I slept… My brains firing in a million direction. I have a sick feeling in my tummy. Butterflies in my stomach would be an understatement, more like Rhinos and Hippos in my tummy. I have already prepared a draft on my laptop. Now all I need to do is write it down.
Right, err… where is the pen? A quick search revealed an old unused gift in one of my cupboards, a pair of trusty Parkers.
So, I sat down to write the letter. First thought, what if I screw up half way down? There is no backspace option, or undo option. Then I realized that it has been quite a while since I last attempted to write in neat handwriting.
“****! I’m gonna write a love letter, and imagine if she can’t even read it!” I thought to myself.
So, first I try some random writings on A4 sheets that I borrowed from my office. I realized that my handwriting was as steady and straight as a piss drunk doing a rope walk. It was almost as though my writings had no bearings… “Ok, there has got to something better”. A quick search revealed a nice empty book containing ruled papers. So I start writing the letter. Most of it was a Copy/Paste from the Screen to paper. It had a nice structure to it though. A 4-lined poetry stating my intention, a small write up on why I wrote this as a letter. And then I poured my heart out.
“Well, Writing looks crap, but it’s the best I can do, given the circumstances…” I consoled myself.
Right now, the Hippos and Rhinos have started tap dancing in my tummy!
Saturday 24-Jan-2009 04:30 AM
The D-day! I was up way too early, I cannot sleep. I was excited and nervous. I’m about to take one of the biggest chances! I have known her for a while now, and she is one of my very good friends. As against the common advice to subtly put it across, I have chosen a more direct approach. If things did not work as planned, whatever friendship we shared will also come to an abrupt stop. But I had to do this, I was certain.
Time was 08:00 AM.
I took a bath and heads out to one of the temples I frequent often. After that I head to one of the Cafe Coffee Days for breakfast. I start living in past, nothing is going to be same after today.
I still remember, the first time I met her. I thought she was beautiful, but never thought we could even be friends. She kept a dignified distance, and I respected that. I was amused at where we are, today, about take the next step from good friends.
“Can I take your Order sir?”
“Yes, 1 Mocha and a Spinach and Corn Sandwich”, I replied mechanically, dry and slightly irritated.
“This isn’t working! I need a distraction!”, I thought to myself.
I called up my mom & dad. They have always been a guiding light and a beacon of hope for me. Dad was bright and sunny, his usual self. He was the “Chandler” of our family :). Spoke to my mom too, who kept me informed of all the happenings back home. She was the like my portal to our family.
I headed out of CCD and rode back to my place… I was feeling cranky and drowsy; I don’t remember when was the last time I slept well.
Up comes her call, my heart skipped a beat or two.
“Hello”, I said.
“Hello, when are we meeting up?”
“How does 5 Sound?”, I asked.
“Ok, Let me know when you are starting from your place….”
Hmmm, Now I need to push a couple of hours… I need to sleep, but I can’t because I was too charged up! I spent the next couple of hours in half asleep state….
We started hanging out and meeting each other over weekends. Initially, I used to call her out just because I had a feeling that she could use a good company. But as I started spending time with her, I realize that there is more to her than what she appears to be. She was very intelligent and sensible. She understood and voiced certain aspects about me that I wasn’t aware of. I have been out smarted and out witted by her a lot of times. I’m lucky that I could keep company of such a person…..
Phone alarm starts buzzing, I finally got up after what seems to be an eternity, I was not very happy because I couldn’t sleep well, coz I was too excited, and I was too sleepy to do anything else. And it felt like T-Rex’s in my tummy. Exhausted from excitement, Insomnia and anxiety, I got ready a little slow… She had messaged me earlier, asking me to get the UNO card deck. So I carefully tucked in the letter and UNO card deck in my jacket.
Now, I have been giving her hints that there is going be a mystery surprise/gift for her today. So I needed a backup plan (in case I drop my balls, and not give her the letter). I scourged around and found a nice keychain that I got from Singapore. Perfect! I did hint her that it is very inexpensive gift.
I start out from my place, slowly, with a prayer. I will not return as the same person. I felt like I’m going on a mission where my return was not guaranteed. I felt like a suicide bomber….
To be continued…